I can relate to dear Pastor’s wife! I can relate because I too am a Pastor’s wife!
I know that it is not easy to be a Pastor’s wife. I understand the pressures, sacrifices, difficult choices and hard situations you have been forced to go through all because you don’t want to offend God and you don’t want to be a cog in the wheel of progress in your husband’s ministry.
Yes, I understand!
I know how difficult it is when you are accused of things you know nothing about and how you are blamed when you did all you did with best of intentions.
I know and I understand!
Dear Pastor’s wife, I know how it feels when someone assumes that you are just the Pastor’s wife by sheer luck all because they envy your success and blessings, yet they have no idea the prices you paid to get to where you are. They have no idea the many times you have cried, the many times you have travailed and the many times, you held your husband’s head (their Pastor’s head) and prayed that he will not fail or lose focus. They have no idea! They see the pastor so filled with faith on Sunday morning but have no idea what you do to encourage him on Monday morning when all the members are mindful of their businesses.
My dear sister, how can I attempt to mention all you have to go through in just one writeup.
Am i to talk about the expectations placed on your kids who never negotiated to be preacher’s kids. They just found themselves in your home and everyone expects them to be angels and never make mistakes.
All wives would love to spend time talking some sweet nonsense with their husbands but all you ever get to discuss with yours are prayer needs for that member who is sick, bereaved or having a difficult marriage. Most times, your good morning greeting to your husband is replied when he asks if you have called the sister missing in attendance or settled the dispute between some members. But no one knows because your recent picture on facebook looked so cute. “She is so lucky” they confess, yet every day you ask for the grace to stand and not to fail the God who has called you to be a wife to His Oracle on earth.
It’s okay My dear Sister, I will tell you some truths that will help you. Just a few, others will come later.
1. No one can take care of you but you.
2. Without God, you will be finished.
3. Don’t live to please people because you can’t please everyone at the same time.
4. No matter how good you are, some people will still name you as their reason for leaving the church. Don’t worry. They would have still left if you were not there. It was never about you!
5. Your husband, the pastor no matter how good he is, will never satisfy all your emotional needs. Find godly ways of making yourself happy.
6. Church members who are nice must never be your close confidants. A Loyal person today might not be a loyal person by tomorrow.
7. Understand your husband more than his spiritual children would. Be there for him.
8. My sweet sister, you are not indispensable, that church and ministry can continue Without you! Ouch! But true!
So be humble, don’t kill yourself with work and take good care of yourself.
9. Don’t wait for permission from anyone to serve your God. Close your ears and serve, don’t only wait to be served.
10. The people who have come to tell you what they said about you are the ones saying it. Don’t fall for their sentiments. Keep your mouth shut!
11. Keep your spiritual life hot!
12. Avoid appearances of evil.
Let me reserve the others for my next letter to you my dear Sister!
Pst Ifeoma Eze,
A fellow Pastor’s wife!
From Zion Heritage Abuja